I hope everything is going well back in the mountains! I miss my mountains :)
So this week was kind of crazy...I have definitely learned that the Atonement isn't just for repentance, but also for healing. I'm not going to lie, this week was rough. I debated whether to tell you all because I didn't want to scare anyone or sound overly dramatic, but I felt that I needed to share it. Don't worry, things are fine now. My anxiety had decided to kick in for the last month and this week I definitely had hit rock bottom. Sister Wood became very worried about me and she started to see signs of depression in me. It was quite a scary experience and I just remember wanting to just give up. I just didn't feel like I was supposed to be here anymore and I was tired of getting rejected and everything else that comes with being a missionary. I told Sister Wood that I just needed to go home because no one wants me here. The "hard" part of the mission finally hit me I guess you could say.
On Thursday, Sister Wood and I sat down and talked about what needed to change and what we needed to do to help me get out of this horrible funk. The last time I had gotten this low was when I was 15 or 16 and I remember that my family really helped boost me up and get me out, but they weren't here so I didn't know what to do. Sister Wood mentioned a priesthood blessing and I immediately said no. Throughout my mission I had thought about a blessing, but I just kept pushing it aside because I only wanted my dad to give me one. I have always just had my dad do it with help of neighbors or family so I just felt weird asking people I hardly knew. Sister Wood looked at me and told me she was deeply concerned and wanted to just help. She asked about having Tim Crager and his dad give me a blessing because I am pretty close to the Cragers. I just sat and thought about it. Trying to come up with an excuse or something because I just didn't want help. I wanted to try to get over this by myself. The excuses just sounded dumb so I gave in and texted Tim to see when they would be available this week. We planned on meeting at the church Saturday morning so I felt a little relieved.
Later that night, a little before we headed over to correlation, Tim asked if our ward mission leader, Eli, would give me a blessing that night. I told him that I just didn't feel comfortable having him give me one and that I wanted him to do it. He told me that him and his family were really worried about me and that it would be best to get a blessing immediately instead of waiting until Saturday. I took a deep breath and replied back with an agreeable response. Tim thanked me for thinking of them first and told me that Eli would love to help as well.
We headed over to Eli's house a little before correlation and he had asked me what was going on. I told him a brief summary and he was able to give a great blessing. I am short on time now (sorry) but I just wanted to express my gratitude for the Priesthood and the healing it does. I am doing better now and continuing to remember to stay happy and positive! I love you all and I will finish the next part next week. love you!
Love Sister Emily Sarah Eaton